By Tim Bryant, Board Chair, The Inn of Last Resort
Help Wanted: Father needed in home to help with multiple duties. Must be willing to love his wife as Christ loved the church. (Eph. 5:25 NLT) Must be patient and kind “not provoking children to anger … Rather, bringing them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4 NLT) Late nights required early on and applicant must be able to deal with dirty diapers, vomit and other unpleasant substances. Later on, applicant may be required to spend some late nights listening and leading discussions (arguments), “waiting up” for the safe return of teenagers or actually looking for teenage children outside the home. Must be a proficient reader of books (out loud preferred), excellent in “around the house” DIY projects and capable of loving a wife or children when they need it most and are hardest to love.
In addition, applicant must hold down a full-time job and use personal funds for the home; otherwise, there is no compensation for the position. It is highly recommended that applicant “fear the Lord” from whom he will receive instructions and blessings, including, but not limited to “his descendants inheriting the land.” (Ps. 25:12-13 NAS)
Please note I am in no way indicating that the role of a father is more difficult than that of a mother. Both have their roles, deep challenges, responsibilities and expectations. Furthermore, both are needed to provide the best environment for the development of happy, healthy and secure children. Sadly, this isn’t always the case, but, never-the-less it is very important for growing the next generation.
Good fathers provide security for their families. They set the tone for the home and are the spiritual leader. It’s normal if you feel unqualified or inadequate in some of these roles, but don’t let the enemy rob you of your leadership position by giving in to his lies. As you practice these roles and responsibilities, you will grow in them and your family will naturally look to you for love and security.
Here are some suggestions on how to step into the role of a father:
- Be Present – When my wife and I homeschooled our four children, she did most of the teaching. She said to me one day, “You know, I don’t mind that you are the principal of our school, but I do wish you would ‘walk the halls’ once in a while.” She was referring to the presence of authority that those roles provide in the public system, of course. So I focused on being more present.
- Be Patient – As we read in Eph. 6:4, a father can provoke his children if he is not patient and kind. “Giving himself up” for his wife takes patience and discipline as well, but the rewards for all of this are worth it.
- Be Purposeful – Fix your eyes on your goal as a father and remain faithful and steady to that purpose. If your family doesn’t thank you now, they will later.
